Veronica Speaks

We never truly learn how to love ourselves, but the Second Commandment states “Love your neighbor as yourself.” How are you to love others if you don’t know what love is within yourself? Let’s have just one convo breaking down five myths surrounding the journey of self love.

Myth #1: Self Love is being self-centered

I hear this statement ALL the time. The word phrase “self-centered” carries a negative connotation; according to the Cambridge Dictionary, self-centered means being only interested in yourself and your own activities. The word that differentiates self love from self-centeredness is “only”. Considering the Second Greatest Commandment, to love your neighbor as yourself, self love is positioned to help you meet the needs of others once you have the capacity to show up for them.

If you can’t show up for yourself because you’re exhausted, you’re in pain, or you’re just fed up in life, then how do you think you’re showing up for others? Leave a comment below and let me know you thoughts.

I know it’s cliche to say, but you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Watch 5 Myths About Self Love | Mark 12:28-34 Bible Study on YouTube:

Myth #2: Self Love means you don’t need anyone

This myth would be true if you were self-centered and suffering from a personality disorder – even then you still need others. We were not put on this earth to be alone. God created Adam, then created a host of different animals, and finished off the world with creating the woman partner, Eve. Our very beginning started with the multiplication of souls.

There is no possible way that having a healthy relationship with self love could ever replace the need for love by others. Living with self love allows you to see and acknowledge the love around you instead of projecting the self-hate and unworthiness you feel if you don’t know love.

It is no secret that there are people who hate themselves and don’t feel worthy of others’ love or attention. That belief influences every action the take and they end up self-sabotaging many relationships without knowing it.

Don’t let that be you. Learn how to love yourself and watch the love around you multiply.

Myth #3: Loving yourself takes away from loving God and pursuing Him

How does taking care of the temple of the Holy Spirit take away from loving God? Self love is the process of taking care of your holistic wellbeing. It means eating a well-balanced diet, staying active, maintaining healthy relationships, expressing gratitude for the Lord’s presence and trusting that God has given you a present worthy of living to the fullest.

Self love is not going against God. Self conceit, self idolatry, and self obsessions is definitely a problem and should not be confused with self love.

There are so many wonderful descriptions God has for us children. We ought to believe that we are created and deemed worthy the moment we are born into this world.

You are worthy of love. God already loves you, it’s time for you to show that same love to yourself.

Myth #4: Self love is fake and full of toxic positivity

Contrary to marketing agencies and social media posts, self love is more than face masks, flowers every week, and treating yourself to a mani and pedi. The journey of self love is a process. The realization that you don’t know how to love yourself, which means you don’t know how to love others, is very daunting.

No one talks about the pain that rises when you become conscious of not loving yourself. No one talks about the pain of having to confront your negative thoughts the moment they cross your mind. No one talks about the fear of taking on a journey of self love.

You will meet so much of yourself that you’ve kept buried inside or never had the space to express. This journey can be scary. It is not all positive.

In the end, the inner work is worth it. You will have confidence and know how to identify if others love you.

Myth #5: You don’t need to love yourself to love others

Again, how can you know how to love others if you’ve never felt it yourself? If you feel unworthy, then chances are you look to others for approval. Every action you take is manipulated by your need to feel worthy by an external person. That behavior pattern will keep you in toxic cycle of unhealthy relationships. In some cases, even abusive relationships.

It is crucial to learn how to show up for yourself, identify your needs, communicate your needs, and pursue a healthy way to meet your needs. No one can do the inner work for you. Feeling loved starts with feeling capable of being loved. You have to see yourself as deserving of real love.

I can sit here and tell you that God loves you, Jesus love you, I love you, but if you don’t believe you’re worthy of love, you will never receive it.

It starts with you. Real love starts with self love.

Practicing self love is an act of resistance

In a capitalist-majority world, we are sold the idea that we need substances, clothes, and external sources to be worthy in life. To me, this idea is farthest from the truth – all you need to do is believe in yourself and put in the work to actualize your dreams.

Resist the marketing propaganda, and the people who’ve fallen into their trap, that tells you you aren’t enough.

You were born enough. You have always been enough. It’s time for you to act on it.