Because we often associate being single with a burdensome life sentence, I am here to share with you why and how I embrace my singlehood. Let’s have just one convo at a time about embracing your single season.
Being single is just that – a season.
As an illustration, think about the seasons we experience throughout the year. We know there is an a time frame where we typically experience certain weather conditions. There is a cycle that we can’t escape which can be seen as a blessing. Because we know we are going to experience certain weather conditions at a given time of the year, we can prepare in advance.
Apply this logic to your understanding of relationships. Some relationships occur in seasons. Essentially, your singlehood is to prepare you for being in a long-standing season of a equally-yoked, God-centered marriage. If you choose, you won’t be single forever.
It is your choice whether to remain single or get married. There is no one forcing you to choose marriage. It is not promised for everyone. That said, let’s discuss the single we all have to grow through.
There is divine purpose in singlehood.
Being in the wrong relationship can be a huge distraction. It can take you away from everything you love, including God. You can fall into a pattern of people pleasing your unequally-yoked partner and searching for his validation in everything you do.
When you don’t get his approval, your self-worth and understanding of personal value decreases. As a result you begin clinging to the relationship even more because you don’t know what life would be like without him.
You temporarily give up your personal power to someone else who can change their mind daily about how they feel. You become insecure. Relationships can turn toxic when you depend on a relationship status to define your life.
With or without a relationship title, you are worthy of a fulfilling life. You are valuable to everyone around you – even if you’re just sharing your smile with someone. You matter.
Veronica Speaks
When single, God reveals who you are.
God already defined your worth and value the day you entered this earthly existence. There is nothing outside of Him that can take away what you mean to Him. As single women, we are encouraged to focus our energy in doing the Lord’s work. To clarify, doing the Lord’s work is loving God by keeping Him first in your life, following the Ten Commandments, and spreading the Good News through love.
One of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:33 which reads, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Our Father God is the creator and provider of everything we see; therefore, He knows what we need and through our faith in Him we will receive everything that is ours.
When you focus on God, God focuses on you. You won’t need an external relationship to validate your worth and value. You are a child of the Ultimate Creator. The heir of a heavenly Kingdom right here on earth. Seeking His righteousness transforms your womanhood into a space of love, grace, peace and joy.
You embody the Holy Spirit and produce a glow that can be seen through everything you touch.
God sees you as worthy.
Naturally, you find your purpose, passion, and potential when there are no distractions. In your singlehood season, you grow to be the woman God created you to be.
You can’t change anyone, so focus on yourself. Basically, be the change you want to see:
Why I choose to be single and what I do in this season.
Undoubtedly, I am single by choice. I can easily run and jump into a relationship. There are plenty of men looking for relationships, but not the type for which I am trusting God.
In retrospect, I experienced only situationships (i.e. “friends with benefits,” “casual sex – no intimacy”) and I felt empty dealing with those individuals. Insecure in God, I didn’t know my worth or value, so I gave it away to people who never deserved such private engagements.
Furthermore, I had no idea how a healthy relationship looked. I did not experience a two-parent household who married with God in the center. Heck, my parents didn’t marry and couldn’t tell me anything about God in relationships. Everything I learned, I had to grow through it.
I stumbled, I fell, I cried for weeks, my heart ached. I unconsciously did things that I thought would help me gain approval of my “love” interest at the time. Most importantly, I learned if a man doesn’t see your worth when he first meets you, he won’t see it even if you try.
Don’t waste your time trying to prove your worth to anyone.
What I do as a single woman
Firstly, I am not inclined to put what I want in a man on the internet. That conversation and prayer is left between God and me. In my past experience, I overshared everything on the internet. Men pretended to be who I said I want after watching all the content I put out.
Here are some things I do to remind myself of my worth and value:
- Pray with God – I don’t vent to social media anymore. Praying helps me remember who I am to God. He defines who I am. Need more on this topic? Then, check out this post: Privacy is Key. Keep it to Yourself.
- Date myself – I go out on solo dates, I reflect on intimacy questions, I learn how to present myself.
- Date my women friends – I go out on dates with my friends and enjoy quality time. I get to understand loving other on a deeper level.
- Dedicate time to my hobbies – I have a hand in creativity and I express myself through many mediums. This helps me with expression.
In short, men and a relationship is the last thing on my mind. It is a blessing to keep God first through everything. I would not be the woman I am without God transforming my mind through my faith in Christ Jesus.
Our God is the greatest provider. I put my life in His hand and trust that He will help my husband see me, court me, and marry me when the time is right.
I am not in a rush to be in a relationship. You shouldn’t be either. To this end, embrace your single season. You won’t be here forever.
Veronica Speaks 
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