He came into my life, I knew it was something different. I couldn’t comprehend how I was treated so gently by someone who I thought barely knew me. I felt so unworthy. I questioned if he’d treat me differently if He knew my past…but He did.
He didn’t care about my past, He didn’t care what I did, He didn’t care about who I slept with or who I did wrong. He forgave me for my iniquities. He only cared about my heart and how my faithfulness determines my future.
In this post, I share with you:
- How He came in and changed my WHOLE life
- My spiritual shift from New Age followings to Christianity
- Encouragement for you to change your life
God found me and changed my WHOLE life. I was lost without God and was in dire need of realizing I was saved. I grew up attending Rock of Age Baptist Church in Maywood, IL, with my great aunties. My aunties are the type of women that only wear long skirts, fancy two-piece suits, extravagant hats, and have their furniture covered with plastic. They are very traditional religious black women; I didn’t understand why until now.
I LOVED going to church when I was younger; I was too excited to put on my white ankle socks with the ruffles and my training heels along with my dress. Attending Sunday school and Sunday service was a routine I was accustomed to every week, but that ended abruptly when my mom moved us from Maywood.
My mom was not much of a religious woman since she felt it was forced down her throat growing up, so I no longer attended church every week – barely even on holidays. By the time I was thirteen, I had strayed entirely away from God.
In 2012, I started attending New Beginning Ministries in Glen Ellyn, but something was off about the ministry there. I had heard of so much drama in the church, leaving me discouraged and confused. Regardless, I sang in the youth choir and praise danced, but again something was not clicking.
By 2014, I identified as agnostic – I believed in God, but not a specific religion. I didn’t know if Christianity was the way for me. I ended up feeling uncomfortable for reasons I chose not to explain, and I detached from attending that church or any church for that matter.
I remained agnostic for five years until I was baptized at Christ Temple Church in Bloomington, IL, on April 13, 2019, where I reclaimed my identity as a Christian Woman. I realized I was saved, but I wouldn’t be Born Again until October 2021.
In that five-year stint, I dabbled in multiple religions and spiritualities, participating in witchcraft and more. I attended church services here and there, but I was serving two masters. I lived double-minded. I had NO idea what I was getting involved with. I thought I was growing closer to God the whole time, but I was really moving further and further away from Him.
I was taking matters into my own hands – leaning on my own understanding. I didn’t have any trust in anyone or anything. I was led by my impulses. Whatever I wanted, I got when I wanted it, and no one told me no. My flesh was alive and greedy. I was proud.
I thought I was in control and on top of the world, manifesting and attracting everything in my life until…I lost control. I spiraled into a deep depression. I lost my sense of self. I lost my self-respect. I lost my diligence. I lost awareness. I lost so much money. I lost my stability. I lost everything…
I felt like my back was up against the wall and there was a wall closing in on the front of me. I felt suffocated.
There were so many nights I lay crying silently while my chest was heaving; I tried my hardest to stay quiet, so no one knew I was breaking inside. My spirit felt like it was tearing apart…I thought I couldn’t take it. I didn’t know what was going on.
I remember escaping this feeling by using drugs, having sex, and distracting myself with the school. I made idols of my escapism methods. I did everything I could to try and run away from these feelings. My relationships suffered, I lost friends, I struggled with connecting to my loved ones. I didn’t know who to turn to.
It was clear, I needed an intervention. I needed healing. I needed soul surgey.
In the back of my mind, I knew there was one person who would never leave me. A friend that would never abandon nor forsake me. I knew someone was keeping my soul, keeping me whole.
God found me in my darkest moment. God held me. God healed me, and all I had to do was believe with my WHOLE mind, heart, and soul that God sent his only Son to die on the Cross for Me.
God knew me before I even knew who I was. God saw that I would make these mistakes, and I would come to realize that all I ever had to do was lean on Him. To find Him in everything before trying to do things on my own.
I had learned this in Sunday school as a young girl attending Rock of Ages. All this time passed, and I forgot, but God STILL kept me, and I know why.
Now, I am a proud Christian Woman of God. I gladly claim this identity as a Child of God, and I will spread His will for the rest of my life.
I am 100% sober. I no longer engage in the harmful activities I did when I was lost. I have no inkling to go back to my former life. Jesus healed my open wounds.
Why wouldn’t I share His mighty name everywhere? God came into my life and made me over! God heard my prayers. Glory be to God because Lord knows I couldn’t change by myself.
I share this testimony with you because I know what it’s like to need someone to be there in those dark moments. I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, to feel worthless, to feel broken, to be shattered, I know…
You are going through something similar, and God is sending messages to bring You closer to Him. God wants you to put ALL your trust in Him. Trust Him, he will come in and change your WHOLE life, and all you have to do is believe.
God already knows that we will make mistakes, and that’s why he sent Jesus Christ to recreate the covenant with God to save ALL his people.
You, Child of God, are saved by God’s Grace. This gift is freely given to you. Read Ephesians 2:8-9
Believing gets easier once you start seeing what God kept you through. You deserve to be here. You are here for a reason. PRAISE GOD! I am so grateful for you being on this journey.
Like my story, God will get the Glory from your story.
God’s name is written all over you.
You are His.
You are Kept.
You are Loved.
You are Wanted.
You are Protected.
You are Provided For.
You are a Child of God.
It’s time for you to believe it.
Go to God tonight, He is waiting to hear from you. He wants you to make the decision to come to Him. He can't force you to do it. You have free will, choose wisely.
Checkout the Soulship Connection Podcast and Soulship Connection YouTube Channel where personal testimonies are shared:
Veronica Speaks 
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