I know the title of this post can be off-putting because many parents hate the terms “baby daddy” and “baby mama”. Let me start off by saying, parenthood is one of the most beautiful and spiritually rewarding experiences we can be blessed with. Becoming parents impacts hundreds of thousands of lives everyday. Some for better, and some for the worst. Regardless of someone’s situation, everyone has inherent value and deserves to live a life filled with love, honor, care, and respect.

Without a doubt, the person you choose to have children with affects the quality of your life. It also influences your partner’s life and your children’s lives. Parenthood is a gift and responsibility that should be handled with care, yet it is often abused. With my own eyes, I’ve seen the abuse that occurs between baby daddies and baby mamas. I am fully aware of the dislike many have for those terms. Nonetheless, some people with children genuinely act like the stereotypes linked to these phrases.

I define baby daddy and baby mamas as people who have children together, but can not have a healthy co-parenting relationship. Their relationship consists of pettiness, constant arguing and yelling, lack of respect, and harming the child(ren) at the expense of trying to hurt the other parent. Why would I (a childless, single woman) want to deal with that drama?

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 40% of babies born in the United States are born to unmarried women. There are thousands of circumstances that lead to unmarried women having children. Some babies are born out of wedlock by accident, force, and intentional choice. It’s hard to really pass judgment upon any of these mothers considering it is not their choice.

That said, what I don’t like is the drama that comes along with people having children out of wedlock while attempting to date. Too many times, baby daddies try to date women when they haven’t figured out their co-parenting relationship with their baby mama. Hell, some of these baby daddies have SEVERAL baby mamas. It’s the other way around for baby mamas, too. It’s a sick world out here sometimes!

It’s super hard for me to reason with men and women having multiple children with different partners and never being married. It screams a lack of sexual discipline to be in those situations. On the other hand, I understand that there are people who don’t value marriage and are addicted to having multiple partners at once. Does Nick Cannon ring a bell?

Of course, I know it’s not fair to stereotype every parent who has children without ever being married. Also, I recognize that marriage does not show healthiness of any relationship. That said, there are thousands, maybe even millions, of people who don’t mind being in a relationship with a partner with children from earlier relationships.

Personally, I am not interested in dating anyone with deceased or live children from past relationships. As stated in my TikTok video below, it takes a special woman to date a man with children and I am NOT her. I developed this non-negotiable from experiencing situationships with baby daddies.

@veronica.speaks_

It takes a special type of woman to be in a relationship with a man who has a child/children 🥰 I’m not her. I tried it. It’s not something I desire. And before some of y’all try to jump down my throat, there is nothing wrong with a childless woman who doesn’t care if a man has children. They are women with hearts after God, women of good character, and desirable, too!! Dating men without children and desiring a relationship with a man without children is just MY preference. It is not the ultimate preference for us women without children.

♬ original sound – With Peace | Veronica Speaks

No shade to anyone who dates people with children, though. Not surprisingly, it’s those of us who are single and childless that are usually the ones being shunned for our “unrealistic” standards.

The Pew Research Center estimates that 40% of relationships in America are blended relationships meaning one or both partners are bringing in children from a past relationship. While this data is from 15 years ago, it gives us insight into why there are so many unmarried parents and blended families. Blended families with parents who don’t know how to co-parent cause many issues for all involved.

I am in a blended family, so trust me…it gets messy. I PRAY my future children and husband never have to experience anything like it. Unfortunately, I have extreme trust issues when it comes to dating people with children. It would be unfair for me to involve myself with a man with kids because I know I would struggle to trust him. He could be the most honest man and give the most reassurance that him and the mother of his child(ren) are just co-parenting, and I still wouldn’t believe him. Unfair? Yes, I am aware which is exactly why I save him and I both by not entertaining any man with children.

I can speak about this topic for hours. I know there are good men with children and there are good women with children. There are parents who don’t make their children a burden when they are in the dating stage before a committed, healthy relationship. Beautiful stories about two families uniting exist. It’s just not a story I want to experience as a childless, single woman.

Now, if I had a child, then this blog post would have a different energy providing more support and understanding to baby daddy and baby mama situationships.

What are your thoughts about dating parents with children if you are a childless person?

I’ve officially re-entered the dating scene as of January 2025 and my method of dating is wayyyy different from when I knew nothing about dating and relationships. Vent with V is a space where I can express my unfiltered thoughts about topics like this.

I have some juicy stories to share about when I experienced situationships with baby daddies. Hmm, I’ll share my naivety at a later time. Stay tuned for more Vent with V posts.