Being a single women in a world full of entitled, misogynistic men can be a scary experience. Often times, we feel unprotected and powerless in situations involving our livelihood. Let’s have just one convo at a time about 7 steps we can take to protect ourselves.

1/7: Put your trust in God.

The top of these ten steps is trusting God. To expand, I don’t mean just saying you trust God, but I mean showing it through your actions that you trust Him. God wants what is best for you and He wants you to be in the present moment with Him. Remember, God inspired St. Matthew the Evangelist to write Matthew 6:25-34:

Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[a]?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 

³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God is the Mighty Protector. He leads the way.

To emphasize the last clause of this scripture, God does not want you to fear about the future. He wants you to present in what He’s doing with you now. Well, how does this logic of trusting God apply to protecting ourselves?

God is the Ultimate Provider; therefore, he knows what we need. When we pay attention to what He is sharing with us, we can reap the benefits of His resources.

For example, let’s look into the second step to protect yourself: self-defense classes.

2/7: Self-defense classes prep you for defense.

Having confidence in self-defense techniques ensures your ability to fight off potential threats. Therefore, enrolling in a self-defense class will serve you in several ways.

It is no doubt that some parents do not lead by example and raise their children to respect their fellow human beings. In return, those children become adults who don’t understand that trust is something that is built and not taken.

In the case that someone feels entitled and tries to take your trust, by taking self-defense classes, you are prepared to fight for your life.

Let’s take this Tampa, Florida Apartment incident for example,

By the grace of God, Nashali Alma, 24, of the Inwood Park Apartment Complex, is a prepared bodybuilder. She remarks in the new interview, “Always fight…don’t give up.”

There is an immense power in being physically prepared to fight. Be sure to look up self-defense classes in your local area and take atleast one of them.

3/7: Know how to use weapons around you.

I am a firm believer that anything can be used as a weapon. Got keys? Learn how to jab them into a pressure point of the body. If in an active attack, then find ways to quickly escape the attacker. For example, if you walk around with a large bag, then you can throw it at the attacker and knock them off balance.

Nonetheless, I am mentioning normal everyday items because I know every woman does not carry a laser, pepper spray, or a gun. it is comforting when you know how to recognize items around you that can serve as a woman. If you are in danger, then your adrenaline will react quickly to help you protect yourself.

In addition to the natural adrenaline, knowing how to use everyday items as a mean of protection can help you feel more protected.

4/7: Communicate your whereabouts and share your location with loved ones.

According to Statista in 2021, approximately 200,000 females under the age of 21 and 65,000 females over 21 were reported missing. In total that’s close to 300,000 women missing in one year. If you share your location with someone close to you, then you are likely to be found quicker.

On the other hand, I understand there are cases where a phone is destroyed or left in a desolate place, but an internet activity can be retrieved from local electrical towers revealing the last location of activity.

With this in mind, there are people who care about you. They way to experience life with you, so making sure you’re safe is a priority of theirs. Share your location with someone – it may just save your life one day.

5/7: Keep your life private.

Furthermore, everyone does not need to know you exact whereabouts in present time. As mentioned above, share this information with loved ones – people who you know share care, love, and respect with you. Basically, social media doesn’t need to know where you’re leaving, when you’ll be out the house, where you work, or none of that.

In short, privacy is safety. If you don’t let everyone know where you live, then you can worry less about jealous attacks coming you way.

Additionally, keep men you are casually dating or sexing away from your home. If you are not in committed relationship, do not bring men to the place where you experience peace. By inviting them into your space, you give them power to disrupt your peace.

Uphold your boundaries.

6/7: Surround yourself with soberminded friends.

Generally speaking, surrounding yourself with soberminded friends helps you stay present. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol or abusing drugs clouds the frontal lobe which involves our decision making skills. As a result of abusing substances, the brain decreases in it’s ability to make a good judgement and move toward actionable direction.

By no means am I saying you can’t enjoy substances legally and occasionally. It is important to know your limits, be aware of your surroundings, and exhibit self-control (a tasty fruit of the Holy Spirit). If you surround yourself with people who pressure you to always get effed up like them, then they creating an unhealthy habit for you both.

You have the option to choose your life’s consequences. Remember that.

7/7: Increase your mental and physical agility.

Speaking of habits, challenge yourself to increase your agility, the ability to think and understand quickly. This steps goes with taking self-defense class. Simply, your ability to act quickly in the face of danger increases your chances of returning to safety.

Here are some ways you can increase your agility:

• Read more physical material (i.e. books, newspapers, magazine article, and etc.) Reading helps you improve cognitive functioning skills and memory.
• Learn something new, your brain forms and strengthens neural pathways when you engage in experiences. The more you practice a new activity, the stronger the neural pathway becomes and the quicker you can recall the learned information.
• Stay physically active

In all, it is important to realize you have the power to protect yourself if you face immediate danger. These few strategies are only a start to what self-defense looks like for you. I encourage you to explore the ways that help you feel safe enough to navigate this world.

Let me know some of the way you protect yourself in the comments.

As always, thank you for taking time out of your day to be here with me. I appreciate your energy and I hope that you use this informational value and apply it to your life.

With peace,

Veronica Speaks